Thursday, January 18, 2018

Flashback: P.I. Joe - A Real American Detective!

For this week's Flashback, we're heading back to May 2010, but if you want to get specific, we're going back to some kind of stylized version of the '30s I guess in the film-noir-inspired "P.I. Joe" story.

For that story, I figured I'd do some kind of alternate-universe reimagining kinda thing.  Noir's a style I like so I figured I'd try my hand.  I also wrote a short prose noir story at that time about action figure collecting, no less, which you can check out here if you'd like.

Next time, I'll try to do a New Year-related thing, assuming I remember.  Sorta.  You'll see!  Stick around!

Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size

Monday, January 8, 2018

Numbers' New Year's Newsletter: 2018-A-Go-Go, Baby

[Other years' letters: 2011 / 2012 / 2013 / 2014 / 2015 / 2016 / 2017 / 2018 ]

Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you prepare.  How much you plan.  How much you hope.

Sometimes, you're just screwed.  And sometimes, there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

The mission was scrubbed from Jump Street.  That's why they sent us in -- we took a detour down Jumpjet Boulevard and kept our eyes peeled for the Smackdown Lane exit.  By the time my team jumpjetted our mechs across the Planet of Ice, it was all over for Madame President, self-appointed "Queen of Space."  Her evil deeds of previous years (read the last few years' newsletters, linked above, and you'll see what I mean) had signed her death warrant.  It was time for payback, and my mech crew and I would make sure she paid in full.

Tactically neutralizing her and her literally-underground base was easier than she was.  These kinds of missions aren't even a warmup when you're an Operator who operates like an Operator operating operationally.  But there was something cold lurking in the heart of the Planet of Ice, and even our transparent orange chainsaws could do little to turn up the heat.

To put it bluntly, my team was defeated and abducted by the salvage ship Brostromo and its crew of slavers/fitness enthusiasts.  They were going to scrap our mechs for salvage and extract whatever proteins they could from our bodies.  The strong would be sold as slaves.  The weak would be ground up into supplements.

They captured my team while I was dealing with Madame President alone, and I managed to stow myself away aboard the gigantic Brostromo, sneaking around tactically until I realized I didn't need to anymore.

No one was left alive.

There was a deadly alien life form aboard the ship.  The life form known only as Specimen Number 2016 killed everyone, and by the time I found what few surviving members of my crew that I could, it had mutated into Specimen Number 2017, and grown even worse.  Logic, reason, dignity -- all that was out the airlock.  And once we had confirmed we were the only survivors, so were we.

Naturally, we set the Brostromo onto a collision course with the nearest sun, just in case the self-destruct sequence we'd activated had failed.  But no.  All that had failed was the 2017.

We were still alive.  We were still together.  But we were low on fuel.  We managed to reach a nearby space colony, but we were out of supplies and even shorter on options.  We decided to settle into a demilitarized zone, housing ourselves in a building that should've been condemned.  There was serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring was substandard, and it was completely inadequate for our power needs.  In short, it was the perfect hiding place.

We rebranded ourselves as speedrunning mercenaries, using our slick transparent orange skis and powerful transparent orange chainsaws to break lap time records for any local racing team that wanted to hire us.  Soon, we were breaking the recorded data of even the most veteran racers' laps.  This recorded data was played back in the form of holograms commonly referred to as "ghosts," projected in real-time on the race tracks.  The ghost data was appalling.  The other racers played dirty and ate like slobs.  We waited on the grid for the lights to start and always drove clean laps.  Light was green, lap is clean.  We broke the ghost data lap records without breaking a sweat.  We were busting ghosts all over town, and truly, busting made us feel good.

Soon, we could afford to upgrade our equipment, powering our chainsaws with untested, unlicensed particle-accelerator backpacks.  We told ourselves we would only do this long enough to afford to get back home, but fame and fortune got the best of us.

We had movie deals, a cartoon show with characters that didn't look like us (but really sounded like us), comic books, a hit song, and tons of pussy, but we also had enemies.  Time repeats itself, and much like my old nemesis who grew jealous of my matches-sold-to-schoolchildren empire in 2012 (and continued in following years; do read the newsletters if you are interested), we had found ourselves with a new adversary.

One who remains at large.  One we are woefully underprepared to face.

We shall prepare ourselves this year and defend our racing titles, our city, our newfound friends, their hopes, and dreams.  Even if this place isn't our home, but I love this town.

May your 2018 prove fruitful and less shitty than our last few years have been.

- Numbers, Ph.D in Parapsychology, Pseudoscience, Female Anatomy, & Transparent Orange Chainsawing
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week; no job is too big, no fee is too big
January 2018

[Other years' letters: 2011 / 2012 / 2013 / 2014 / 2015 / 2016 / 2017 / 2018 ]

Monday, January 1, 2018

Flashback: Ages 25 & New Year

Let us all take a moment to hope that 2018 won't be as shit as the last few.  Here is every single New Year's issue I can remember making, and some I can't.  I think I have them all here.

Next time, I'll get a Numbers' New Year's Newsletter up.  I don't think it'll be ready today and I have plans tomorrow, so let's aim for the third, yeah?

Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

A25U Flashback: Christmas Special!

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas, and here's a seasonal Flashback for you all. Every Christmas issue in A25U history, I think.  I left out stuff like New Year's, but I might post those in the next Flashback.  There's a new Number's New Year's Newsletter on your way.

Hope you were good this year!

Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size

Saturday, December 23, 2017

A25U Flashback: We Like Roy!

The snow is falling, the cold winter breeze is in the air, and it is the perfect time of year for one thing:

REVENGE.

Ladies and gentlemen, this week's A25U Flashback takes us back to December 2011, with the story arc that introduced Cobra Stinger Driver Roy, Cobra Supplier Relations Agent Meredith, and a settle to score with Clutch.  Created by D.Chan for use in the comic, Roy and Meredith became fan-favourite characters, and they'd have to be if they're to take down Clutch himself!

Roy's story originally ran from #171 (December 2011) to #187 (April 2012), and if Roy has his way, One-Eight-Seven will be true indeed.

They're winter-themed issues that aren't Christmas-themed, so the next Flashback will look at our Christmas issues over the years.  Some were jolly.  Some were silly.  Some were a bit too optimistic.  Others less so.

#400 will not be done in time for Christmas, so I suppose that's one more Christmas I've ruined, but we'll see if reliving the Roy can make up for it a little.  Maybe.

Merry Christmas and I'll report back soon with more Flashbacks.

Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

A25U Flashback: Batteries Not Included - The Final Charge

I'm still trying to get #400 done for Christmas.  No promises but I'm trying.

This week's flashback is a continuation of last week's, when we revisited Ages 25 & Up's long-lost sister comic, Batteries Not IncludedBNI ran exclusively on CrimsonMonkey.com from 2010 to 2012, but I had to pull the plug in order to work on #200.

Since then, there's been no trace of the comic as Crimson Monkey has grown over the years, and the unexpected shutdown of the imaging hosting service I was using at the time meant my own archive was lost.  So basically, BNI hasn't been online in years, and other than on my old laptop's hard drive, pretty much forgotten.

I figured it might be a good idea to feature the old comic in last week's Flashback, since many of you might never have had a chance to check them out.  This week's Flashback is the last batch of Batteries Not Included, with many strips lampooning some kind of pop-culture goings-on of the month during which they were originally posted.

See what you think, and see if you can jog your memory and figure out just what the hell the comics were referring to.

CLICK ON ANY OF THEM FOR A LARGER VERSION.

Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size

Monday, December 4, 2017

MIA? AFK? BNI! A25U Flashback: Batteries Not Included

Stop the presses! Hold the phone!

I'm alive!

 I can't believe it's been about a month since my last post.  (I'm sure the feeling is mutual.)  Crap's been pretty nuts on my mind, and real life unfortunately has to come first, but that's no excuse for not at least keeping you guys up to date.

Really, guys, I'm sorry, and I will aim to do better.  I don't want a repeat of #200 but it's kind of shaping up that way, isn't it?  I want #400 ready in time for Christmas, to the point that I've written some seasonal material for it, which requires shooting, voicing, and editing.  If the short isn't ready in time, I'll scrap that Christmas bit, or find some other way to use it that won't reveal #400's surprises.

Speaking of #400, here is one of the frames taken from the shoot.  Provided without explanation or context!

Click to see full size
But what could this mean?  Mild-mannered newsman Dick Wanker (formerly of CUNL, now with ITV, International Terrorist Videos) standing next to the legendary Solid Snake?  What is Dick doing?  Why is Snake casually pointing a FAMAS at the back of his knees?  How can Snake be calmly smoking while Dick freaks out?  Why is Snake standing in a puddle of blue stuff?  Where the hell is the background?  Could this be a still from an effects shot, without the effects edited in?

Only time will tell!  (Gone for a month and this is all I'm willing to reveal so far?  Call my the Cryptic Keeper, eh?)

Of course, a Flashback post wouldn't be a Flashback post without actual A25U Flashback content.  This time, I want to go way back to 2010.  Back then, I was contacted by pop-culture website Crimson Monkey in regards to making a monthly comic strip for their site.  I decide to go for a short, three- to four-panel newspaper-style strip that wasn't "ha ha" funny, but rather "I see what you did there" amusing.  Many strips would be inspired by the pop-cultural and/or seasonal goings-on of the month in which it was posted (holidays, movies opening, games launching, etc.), but not all of them.  It also had its share of running gags, the humour value of which is debatable.

It was called Batteries Not Included, and it is Ages 25 & Up's long-lost sister comic.  What do I mean by that?  I'll explain next week, when I'll post the second batch of BNI strips and explain its fate.

Until then, here's a buncha BNI comics for you.  CLICK ON ANY OF THEM FOR A BIGGER VERSION.  See you in seven-ish!

Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size Click to see full size

Search Function!

Custom Search